I sat at the edge of the window and observed the beauty of the city,
I watched as the rain poured heavily ,
as if to wash away the sins we had committed.
All was dull.
And in the mist that covered the window in the inside,
I drew her face.
I could see her crying,
All that beauty covered with pain and agony.
The sketch wasn’t pleasant at all,
Nothing actually was.
Maybe I had gone too far,
Ok not maybe,
I had actually gone too far this time.
Three years made the difference in our ages,
three years of pure intelligence of mind and of exposure in this earth soil.
But it takes more than just knowledge of the mind to steer a man’s life.
There is the heart that control the feelings of a man,
but guess I never really learnt that.
Getting to utter the three magical words that make two to be one can be quite easy,
but getting to say it from the heart and that you really mean is quite the problem.
For six months I took advantage of her loneliness and made her heart my toy.
It just takes one,
creativity in joining words
and utter lies that would actually make her feel special and within no time,
you are the best man she’d ever known.
Some days out in the open sun for the small picnics,
A walk in the streets being rained on ,
A meal in a cozy restaurant….
The late night calls and texts,Matching outfits,
And so on and so fourth.And soon without my knowledge hills turned to mountains,
lakes to oceans,and streams to rivers.On my side I was having fun,
at least that’s what boys do,Boys…
Coz men don’t play games.And now here we are,
I decided to tell her before it had gone too far.
But it had already gone far.And I thought it would be easy,
She just looked at me , for more than two minutes or so,
Asked me if I am sure of what I am saying,
and then she whispered an ok.
But she could not hold it any longer,
she bust into tears , enough to fill a pool.
She threw all her insults at me,
and I gladly took them.Feeling stupid for all that I had done ,
I walked away.
And now here I am,
I have not left this house for the last 36 hours.
I am feel guilty and stupid for all I did.
I cannot tell her I am sorry,
it will just add pain to the already hurting heart.
I think I am fit to be called an art master,
but this time just add the H to represent the heart that I have hurt.
I am the h_art master.
I wish there was a better word that would describe best
my sincere regrets to what I have done.
Maybe next time I will build castles with the one, giving it all from the mind and heart.