Searching For Soul After Breakups(Niccur)

In this life 
I once felt hope.
I sometimes still believe in this, 
but each moment a little less.
I feel abandoned in my despair, 
and it’s difficult to repair.
I get broken each day some more, 
keeping these emotions in my core.
I find myself hiding behind this smile, 
the one that shows my denial.
I have thoughts of lonesomeness, 
which no person should possess.
I camouflage this so well;
it feels like I’m in hell.
I hurt on the inside, 
trying to push these demons aside.
I want something better, 
to not feel all this terror.
I know it can be manageable; 
there are things that make life tolerable.
I just cannot find the thrill, 
like when I was a child with a one dollar bill.
I remember when dreams were imaginable, 
now it feels like I’m undoubtedly fallible.
I wish to find myself soon.
This feels as if I’m trapped in a cocoon.
I would like to hatch, not be so detached.
I need to end this coldness,
before death leaves me soul less.

Here is Bonnie’s Article, Finnared’s Poem

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