A long time ago,
When walking out was legal,
Hanging out with friends was not a crime,
When there were no curfews nor lockdowns,
And the streets were full with all kinds of people,
all from different race,
background and religeon wondering all about their business,
Life was fun.
I learnt to survive.
I dodged my fears.
I was alive somehow.
But now, now with nowhere to go and nothing to do,
reality dawns and I can’t escape it anymore.
I am at the edge of the cliff again,
going forward is suicidal,
standing still is perilousand moving backwards is cowardice.
I feel so empty inside.
It’s like I am drowning except everyone around me is breathing.
What do you do when the people you love the most are the ones who really hurt you?
And what’s worse is you share the same roof.
Dihumanised and disproportionately punished for small misdemeanours.
emotionally tortured but only hope spiritually.
Sometimes I choose to ignore and let it all slide,
then I feel like somebody.
Then there is all the times when I am just a nobody.
And just because I didn’t react doesn’t mean I didn’t notice.
Maybe I do deserve that perpetual isolation,
cause I am sad, depressed…
And my sadness is a hollowness.
I can’t tell you what’s worse.
Sometimes my hollowness is a shell,
holding in a thousand oceans of tears,
accompanied by cacophony of voices.
And that ladies and gentlemen is where the rain would start to beat us.
By this curious turn of disposition,
I have aggravated my patience.
I just don’t care anymore.
It is what it is, it was what it was,
and it will be what it will be.
I won’t stress it.
Coz not everyone is singing from the same performance script as you.
Coz this people don’t care.
They will hurt you and leave.
And when they do that,
just make sure you don’t also leave on yourself.
Don’t let them drain you.Your heart is the softest part of you,
Don’t leave it unhealed,
Don’t leave it unloved.
Self love isn’t selfish, it’s important.
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